Age-Defying Optimism - Unveiling the Superpowers of a Positive Mindset

I just came back from a bucket list trip to Southern France, celebrating “SIXTY” with college friends for a week, and then “THIRTY-FIVE” years of marriage with my husband Mark.

 Both momentous occasions, and so worthy of celebration.  So grateful for my friends who got the ball rolling, which enabled me to step right into one of the best trips of my life.

 Turning “60” … “50” … “40” or sometimes even “30” can come with some trepidation.  

 I think I’ve always felt that trepidation with every new decade.

 When I look back at the past decades, each was defined by many different wonderful things, as well as challenges … all kind of unique to that state of age … but what was promising was the realization that life was continuing to deliver the goods.  

 When we think about getting older, many of us think of life as a bell curve.  We are walking up to a precipice, and at some point, probably in mid-life, we reach the peak, and start walking down the other side.

So let's change our mindset.

On our last night of vacation in France, my husband and I were having a special meal overlooking the Mediterranean, and it was obviously a “special occasion” restaurant.  The couple to the left of us were celebrating their engagement.  The woman to the right of us was also celebrating 60.

She said something that really stuck with me.  Wisdom from her 90 year old mother. 

Her mantra was to reframe how we state our age.

Rather than saying “I’m sixty years old” … how about saying  “I’ve lived for sixty years.”

I’ve LIVED for sixty years.

All of a sudden “feeling or being old” doesn’t enter the equation.  Instead it’s about a collection of experiences, connections with others and all the wisdom that comes along with living so many years.  How lucky we are. 

I’m convinced that the right mindset is critical to health.  Critical to maximizing our longevity in health.  

In fact, according to research conducted by Yale Professor Dr. Becca Levy (and author of Breaking the Age Code), people with the most positive views of aging were living, on average, 7.5 years longer than those with the most negative views. 

This comprehensive study determined that age beliefs were connected to a better survival advantage than low cholesterol or low blood pressure (both which added an extra four years of life) or avoiding smoking (three extra years).

To begin our ongoing trajectory, to embrace aging in a positive light, we need to push back against the ageism we constantly face in the US. 

We are bombarded with messages to stay young looking - the need to prevent wrinkles, or cover gray hair. 

Corporate America typically embraces and prioritizes a young staff (median age of a Facebook employee, for example, is 28).  

We take our mothers or fathers to a doctor’s appointment, and we notice that the doctor speaks directly to us, not to their patient.

And what about the term “senior moment?”  We like to embrace that term with a laugh to explain moments of forgetfulness.   

But guess what? We forgot where we put our car keys in our 20's, just as much as we do now.  But then, we didn't think twice about it.  Now, we worry that our memory is slipping.

When we took exams in college, we couldn’t remember all the facts we learned. 

I like to think of it this way.  We've learned so much in our lives, there is just no possible way to retain it all. 

William James, who lived 150 years ago and is recognized as the “father of American psychology,” confirms that notion. These memory lapses are driven by a gap in the mind “that is intensely active.”

I’ll embrace that philosophy!

I can remember in my 40’s being at a doctor’s appointment with a rheumatologist due to achy joints.  My suspicion was Lyme’s … and I was ultimately treated for that and symptoms dissipated.

But of course my doctor had to say … “well you are getting older … it might just be from normal aging.”   (erghh)

And the fact that I pulled my hamstring a month ago leaping and stretching for a low ball playing pickleball … is probably more connected to the fact that I didn’t warm up and stretch my muscles vs. being sixty.  But you know, the overwhelming message that permeates my brain is - “you're getting too old to play these sports."

And I need to push that thought right out of my head.

Far from the US, Japan is a culture that reveres the process of aging.  They even have a national holiday to celebrate, shall I say, “the wise population.”

With age comes wisdom, and with that positive outlook on life, the Japanese just keep living … and doing what they’ve always done.  Weight lifters at 80 … sushi chefs at 99.

This positive approach to aging, and overwhelming respect that the older population receives, delivers to them the benefit of the longest lifespans in the world.

So I've decided to throw away that bell curve, and embrace an upward climb.

And I choose to face the next decades with optimism, because now is my time.

I’m not winding down, I’m winding up.

I’m going to use the wisdom of all of those years.  I’m going to continue to apply that growth mindset … because I’m still climbing.

If you can do this for yourself, it will pay off.

It’s all about mindset right?  

And if that mindset doesn't work for you, think about these humorous words from Charles Munger, Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway: 

"All I want to know is where I'm going to die, so I'll never go there." 

Yup, we're not going there.  Keep on climbing!