The Thing … under The Thing
What exactly is "the thing under the thing??
Well, I’ve honestly been thinking about it all week.
It started with a conversation with two coaching colleagues about the impact and art of transformational coaching, where the concept of "the thing under the thing" emerged.
And while fine-tuning my course content for my Create your Owner’s Manual for Health class this week, I continued to think about “the thing under the thing” as a discussion on chronic stress took center stage, emphasizing how imperative it is to tackle what's in our head effectively.
Too often, we allow issues to simmer, leaving them to fester, which can leave us feeling paralyzed, trapped in a mental traffic jam.
Have you ever found yourself wrestling with a problem, feeling as though you're trying to untangle headphones in the dark? Or waking up with a persistent cloud hovering over you, unsure of its origin?
Here’s the twist: what if the issue you're fixating on isn't the real problem at all?
Imagine staring at the tip of an iceberg, believing that's all there is to it. Yet, beneath the surface lies a labyrinth of emotions, memories, and tangled thoughts waiting to be unearthed.
It's like stumbling upon a hidden compartment in your backpack, filled with childhood trinkets you forgot existed until you dared to delve deeper.
So, why do we find ourselves ensnared in these mental mazes? Often, it's because we're tackling the wrong puzzle. The surface-level issue is merely the tip of the iceberg; the true complexity lies beneath.
But avoiding these buried emotions won't make them vanish. Instead, they resurface persistently, similar to incessant notifications on your phone.
The solution? It's time to wield your mental shovel and start excavating.
Now, don't expect this journey to be a leisurely stroll. It's more like a rollercoaster ride through your psyche—an adventure teeming with unexpected twists and turns.
One method to navigate this expedition is through mindfulness—attentively observing your inner landscape. Think of it as being your own detective, unraveling the mysteries of your mind.
Journaling can serve as a powerful tool for channeling your thoughts onto paper, but it requires probing questions:
What's really bothering me?
How is this “thing” making me feel?
What emotions surface when I confront this "thing"?
What are the 5 whys or reasons that are causing the concern?
What recurring behaviors do I notice about myself?
When did I start feeling this way, and what was going on in my life at the time?
What fears or anxieties do I have, and how do they impact my decisions and actions?
Without asking these deeper questions, you'll remain on the surface, barely scratching the proverbial iceberg.
As you delve deeper into your subconscious, expect resistance. Resistance is integral to the process, but as you peel back the layers of your mind, you'll begin untangling the web of thoughts and emotions hindering your progress.
It's kind of like the frustrating task of unraveling a knot in your favorite necklace — and then, suddenly, clarity emerges.
Consider these examples of getting to “the thing under the thing.”
Someone might find themselves feeling stuck in their career, unable to progress despite their efforts. They might perceive the "thing" holding them back to be their lack of skills or qualifications. However, the real issue might be a fear of failure or self-doubt stemming from past experiences or beliefs about their worthiness.
Someone struggling with procrastination may attribute it to laziness or a lack of discipline. Yet, the underlying issue might be anxiety or perfectionism, where the fear of failure or not meeting high standards causes them to avoid tasks altogether.
What other people may think of us can also hold us back from moving forward. But when it comes down to it, you have to move forward with what's meaningful to you, and not worry about all the storm clouds in the distance or behind you.
Taking the time to reflect deeply about the stuff underneath the surface, may be the critical key to unlocking the door.
In essence, it's the thing under the thing—the concealed truths and buried emotions—that unlock your full potential.
You just have to explore and discover, and then put those storm clouds behind you.
By courageously uncovering and addressing "the thing under the thing," we not only unlock the door to personal growth and fulfillment but also pave the way for profound improvements in our mental, emotional, and physical well-being, ensuring a healthier, more vibrant life.
If you're trying to get to that real “thing" and need some help, please reach out!